Plus, why your cellphone bill is going up July 21, 2025 Sign Up | View online IN THIS ISSUE 8 min read 💼 Grad grief 🧸 Labubu lunacy 📱 Cell costs Rough job market for new grads: even banana stands aren't hiring. | 20th Century Fox Television THE WEEK IN MARKETS The rally hits its YOLO phase Ready for a stock market paradox? On the one hand, nearly 90% of companies (including Netflix and J.P. Morgan) that reported earnings last week beat their estimates. But on the other hand, some of the biggest movers propping up the rally were some of the least profitable ones, such as Coinbase (the only-just-recently profitable crypto company) and Carvana (the not-at-all-profitable U.S.-based car resale site). Ready for another round of “are investors getting ahead of themselves or not?” Here's more fodder: Goldman Sachs' index of unprofitable tech stocks, a closely tracked measure of speculation fever, was up 10% last week and 66% since its post-Liberation Day low. That's the highest it's been since April 2022, but still nothing compared to its 3x jump in 2021. Depending on your tolerance for risk, this type of meme-stock rally could be a sign that a hot market is about to overheat. But even if that's true, it's hard to know when. THE CHART OF THE WEEK WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK IMPORTANT Tariffs up, elbows down! Prime Minister Mark Carney appeared to mark the end of TACO time last week with his admission that U.S. trade negotiations will end with some level of tariffs still in place. Right now, the effective U.S. tariff rate on Canadian goods sits around 14%, with more taxes set to kick in on Aug. 1 — a huge leap from the 1.2% effective rate prior to Donald Trump’s return to the White House. Carney’s taken some heat for already playing one of Canada’s cards, scrapping the Digital Services Tax, to keep the U.S. at the bargaining table. As for the U.S., Trump seemingly doesn’t feel like he needs to play any cards at all, telling the press that “there are no deals to make.” Telecom remembers it’s a business, resumes hiking prices. Rogers, Bell, and Telus, which together control 87% of the telecom industry, each hiked their 100-GB plan at the beginning of summer by the same amount: $15 per month, according to The Globe and Mail. What a coincidence! Canadians have long grumbled about how our cellphone bills are among the world’s highest, but for the past year or two, at least, Big Telecom seemed to be listening. Prices declined steadily. So did corporate profits, though, and they’ve had quite enough of that, thanks. INTERESTING Have we hit peak Labubu-mania? In case, like us, you initially thought Labubu was TikTok slang for “lobotomy,” we’ll quickly explain: Labubus are collectible plush toys and figurines that have become wildly popular accessories, with some rare dolls selling at auction for five-figure price tags. These toothsome little buggers have turned Chinese toymaker Pop Mart into a US$40 billion company; its stock is up 588% this year. We’ve seen this cycle countless times before, though — in a five-year span between 1995 and 2000, Beanie Babies went from US$5 to upward of $5,000 to less than their manufacturing cost of $2.50. If history’s a guide, Labubu’s bust is coming, so keep that in mind before you drop $400 on this cutie with the rainbow teeth. Want tix for Christopher Nolan’s new movie? The odyssey begins now. The Oppenheimer director’s next blockbuster, The Odyssey, doesn’t come out until July 2026 — and yet tickets went on sale last week, an unprecedented full year in advance, for certain IMAX screenings. The stunt is making news, but the underlying strategy is all about the scarcity of lucrative IMAX screens. The Canadian-made and -owned screens attract more theatregoers who pay more for the premium experience, and Hollywood is now in an annual summer scramble to book as many of them as possible. One thing about last week’s item on weight-loss drugs: we noted that the Canadian telehealth company Livewell appeared to be running online ads touting a 2023 Toronto Star investigation into its Ozempic prescription practices. After our item ran, Livewell contacted us with a few clarifications. The company says it had already taken down the ads at the Star’s request prior to our story’s publication. The company also disputes the Star’s reporting, stating that its medical providers treat patients in accordance with Obesity Canada guidelines and in compliance with all Canadian laws and regulations. —Sarah Rieger FROM OUR SPONSOR THE FOMO INDEX by Stacey Woods IMPORTANT 🍺 The Beer Store is closing 10 more locations across Ontario. The Scotch Store fears its days are numbered. Source 🩲 Jeff Bezos is reportedly investing in Sydney Sweeney’s new lingerie company. He’s also subscribing to Playboy for the articles. Source 🍝 Canada is about to get a lot more Olive Gardens, so you’ll have more options for when you don’t want Italian food. Source 📱 Nextdoor relaunches with an emphasis on vetted news sources over user-generated content. That stuff will be over on the new Karen App. Source CRASH & BURN TO THE MOON 💋 Married CEO caught with another woman by kiss cam at Coldplay concert. What a terrible way to find out your husband likes Coldplay. Source 🧙‍♀️ Witches are selling spells on Etsy, but FYI, the Protection Against Internet Scammers one doesn’t work. Source 🏠 Jordan Peterson is selling his Toronto home. Plenty of closet space, but good luck getting out the steak smell. Source 🏝️ Fyre Festival brand sells for US$245,300 on eBay. Actual festival not included, so it’s definitely the Fyre Festival! Source WHO CARES THE BIG IMPORTANT STORY BOOMS How did crypto summer get so dang hot? It's 2022. Terra, a major stablecoin, has imploded, and the resulting chain reaction has led to crypto tycoon Sam Bankman-Fried beginning the process of exchanging his Bahamas mansion for a Los Angeles prison cell. The conventional wisdom is that crypto fever has broken: it’s a sham, a Ponzi scheme, and it’s never going to be back in the same way. Now, it’s July 2025, and a single BTC is worth roughly US$120,000, which, when you convert to CAD, is more than what 95% of us earn every year. Whether you’re a fan or a skeptic, the evidence is plain that crypto has experienced yet another massive reversal of fortunes. Here’s the story of how that happened: December 12, 2022 (1 BTC = US$17,206) – FTX founder Bankman-Fried is arrested in the Bahamas on fraud charges just weeks after FTX Group files for bankruptcy — the end of a breathtaking market meltdown. Crypto markets lost US$2 trillion in value this year. Berkshire Hathaway CEO Warren Buffett calls BTC “a gambling token.” January 10, 2024 (1 BTC = US$46,627) – Two years later, Bitcoin has been quietly chugging along, and the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission approves the first 11 ETFs tracking the underlying price of Bitcoin. By the end of November, Bitcoin ETF inflows in the U.S. hit US$1B in a single day. (At the risk of some very Canadian smugness, we’ve had legal spot Bitcoin ETFs since 2021.) December 5, 2024 (1 BTC = US$100,000) – During the 2024 U.S. presidential election, the crypto industry lobbied hard, spending 27x what they did in 2020. April 8, 2025 (1 BTC = US$76,272) – Now, Trump is president. His administration is beginning to make crypto-friendly moves, but he’s also launched an all-out global trade war, targeting major trading partners. It’s hard to invest in volatile assets when safe bets (like bonds) are panicking. The price of BTC fell 23% in four months, hitting a low point just as Trump’s “Liberation Day” tariffs started to bite. (Note: BTC was still worth more than it was before Trump’s election.) June 22, 2025 (1 BTC = US$100,987) – Ten days after Israel began an assault on Iran, the U.S. bombed three Iranian nuclear facilities. Remember what we said above about volatility? This was the last time Bitcoin traded below US$100,000 — and its price recovered the same day. July 17, 2025 (1 BTC = US$123,091) – Bitcoin hits an all-time high as the capstone bill of Trump’s crypto policy, known as the GENIUS Act, passes Congress. This legislation allows U.S. companies to hold and create stablecoins, which opens a whole new frontier for moneymaking and speculation in the planet’s biggest economy. —Brennan Doherty OTHER VERY GOOD READS 🏀 A Moose, a Buck, and a Betting Scandal Did a random X account scoop the entire sports media? | Pablo Torre Finds Out 👷 Faces of the Trade War Five business owners on how tariffs have derailed their lives. | Maclean’s 🚰 Water Pressure How surging temperatures are straining resources in Pakistan. | Believer THE WISDOM OF SOCIAL Can we send Jaegers to fight a trade war? THOUGHTS ON TODAY’S ISSUE? Love it Good So so This week’s newsletter contributors: Brennan Doherty (writer), Devin Gordon (writer), Stacey Woods (writer), Sarah Rieger (news writer), Ambrose Martos (fact checker), Ciara Rickard (copy editor), Maude Campbell (copy editor), Sara Black McCulloch (fact checker), Mohini Tailor (lifecycle marketing manager), Eva Grace Clement Cruz (lifecycle marketing associate), Setareh Sarmadi (senior editorial producer), Matthew Karasz (markets editor), Jared Sullivan (senior editor), Peter Martin (senior editor), and Devin Friedman (editor-in-chief). Wealthsimple Media Inc. 80 Spadina Ave Suite 400 Toronto, ON, M5V 2J4 VIEW IN BROWSER PRIVACY POLICY UNSUBSCRIBE Self-directed investing is offered by Wealthsimple Investments Inc. (WSII). WSII is a member of the Canadian Investment Regulatory Organization (CIRO). Customer accounts held at WSII are protected by Canadian Investor Protection Fund (CIPF) within specified limits in the event WSII becomes insolvent. 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